Brian Berger’s NFL Locks for Week #9

Guest post by @BSB84

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And my season of redemption continues, 4-0 last week bringing my record to 19-11-2.  Just so everyone knows, everything that came out of my mouth last year in regards to sports was wrong.  Literally, every single word.  Big weekend coming up as I’m running the NYC marathon.  Good times.  Anyway, onto this weeks picks.

Atl -8.5 vs TB.  I’ll give the points against the  “best team in the NFC.”  The two times Tampa has played a good team this year (Pitt & NO) they have been outscored 69-19.

Chicago -3 vs Buffalo.  I know that Chicago is in a free fall and that the Bills are actually playing pretty well.  But still, there is just something about this game.

SD -3 vs Houston. I’m 1-1 with SD the past two weeks, this is the tiebreaker.  Houston has no heart, every time they are expected to win they lose and when they are out of it, they finally win.  Pip Rivers may throw for 800 yards in this game.

Det +4 vs NYJ.  Just an all around great performance by the Jets last weekend after their bye week.  Solid on all accounts.  As an unabashed Pats fan I thoroughly enjoyed it, even though the game sucked and made me want to gouge my eyes out.  The Lions have been pretty decent this year at home and Megatron is on a tear.

Weekend Links

  1. Best of NFL Halloween Photos

  2. Monika Pietrasinska May Be The Hottest Chick On The Planet…

  3. Guy Survival: 24 Unusual Uses for Cooking Spray Other Than Keeping Food from Sticking to the Pan

  4. I Really Like The Lingerie Football League

  5. The Ultimate Multi-Tasking Driver

  6. 10-Barrel T-Shirt Gatling Gun

  7. Our OC Chaney is going to cost us…

  8. Malin Akerman Is On Fire…

  9. The Women of the Golf Channel’s “Big Break”

  10. Top 10 Sexy Megan Fox Gifs

  11. Trailer for Brooklyn Decker’s First Movie, ‘Just Go With It,’ Hits Web

  12. Dating a Female Jock

  13. Nooner Jobbie Break with Blake Lively

  14. Best of Jenn Sterger

  15. Video game history in rap

  16. South Park Spoofs LeBron’s “The Decision”

The NFL’s Best Kept Secret and in Honor of Movember

Guest post by: @K_ZEER

Formally known as the San Francisco 49ers, the San Francisco “2-and-6ers” enter their bye week with their heads held high after beating the equally depressing Denver Broncos (2-6). The week off could not have come at a better time, not only because it allows the team to reacclimate to Pacific Daylight Time after playing in front of a European crowd at the infamous Wembley Stadium (most Euro fans are still wondering why the goal posts were yellow instead of white, and why they did not boast an attached  net as well), but more importantly, the week off gives Coach Mike Singletary more time to heed the advice of this writer and for goodness sake, GROW A MUSTACHE!!!

The mystique of the NFL is part of what makes it so damn entertaining. Whether it is trying to predict game winners each Sunday (See “expert” Eric Allen’s pick-em record), pinpointing Ed Hochuli’s steroid schedule, or even how to coach in the league without worrying about X’s and O’s. We at perezsolomon.com have uncovered the latter through much research (Magic 8 Balls and Ouija Boards) and can emphatically proclaim that coaching success in the NFL simply revolves around growing a mustache.

Don’t believe us? Take a look at these storied tenured coaches who figured out that growing an upper lip-jacket goes well beyond giving out mustache rides to women:

THE TOP 6 NFL COACHES WITH MUSTACHES

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1.  Mike Ditka (11 seasons for Chicago and 1 Super Bowl appearance): Ditka is the full-embodiment of MAN. Arguably the world’s only defense for Chuck Norris, “Iron Mike” sported the mustache like a badass and sure enough, success followed.

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2.  Mike Holmgren (7 seasons for Green Bay and 2 SB app., 10 seasons. for Seattle and 1 SB app.): Rumor has it that Brett Favre hasn’t missed a game because combing Holmgren’s ‘stache gave him eternal strength…and the charisma to send cock-shots to women.

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3.  Bill Cowher (15 seasons for Pittsburgh and 2 SB app.): Despite popular belief, Cowher’s chin wasn’t responsible for success, in fact his mustache led the Steelers to success. Culminating in 2006 when he kissed the Lombardi trophy, actually his mustache was so irresistible that even former players Kordell Stewart and Joey Porter wanted some of it too!

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4.  Tony Dungy (7 seasons for Indianapolis and 1 SB app.): Tony Dungy did not need Peyton Manning as much as he needed his mustache.

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5.  Jeff Fisher (17 seasons for Houston/Tennessee and 1 SB app.): With the “80s Pornstar” mustache on Fisher’s face, we all know the true Motor City Miracle.

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6.  Andy Reid (12 seasons for Philadelphia and 1 SB app): Okay, you’re right, his mustache has nothing to do with football, he only has it to save food for later.

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Honorable mention: Brad Childress

In the words of Keyshawn Johnson, “C’mon Man!” Coach Singletary, just grow the damn thing already. At least with a mustache, you can lose the occasional game and still look good doing it. Well, actually for the city of San Francisco to see success in the NFL again, Coach Singletary may have to grow more than just a mustache.