Top 11 Office Distractions

style + tech for men

by brian o’connor for style + tech for men

____
why focus on building a professional reputation and achieving the heights of excellence in your career when you can be putzing around with some of the world’s most mesmerizing office toys? seriously, picking these up and going to work will become a pleasure. you’ll also have a lot more free time to look forward to in a couple of months.
top 11 office distractions___________
rug capades

if you’ve ever had the desire to slam your boss into the boards, slip these one-size-fits-all carpet skates over your foot, fasten them behind the heel, then push off and crosscheck your colleagues for the most satisfying two-minute major of your life. see you at the unemployment office!
$15.99 at stupid.com

___________
top 11 office distractions___________
labor strikes

you’ll bowl over your colleagues (oh, yes we did!) when you roll out this desktop bowling alley in a box — including 10 metal bowling pins, two different-colored balls, and a sharpshooting cannon to launch your missiles. once you finish setting all this crap up, drop us a line and let us know where you used to work.
$8.99 at stupid.com

___________
top 11 office distractions___________
mallow peril
remove this pump-action, single-shot device from its assassin-style briefcase, pop in a regular-sized marshmallow, pump it a few times, then pull the trigger and watch as your yummy ammo flies 40 feet through the air before turning your prey’s face into a s’more.

$55 at neimanmarcus.com

___________
top 11 office distractions___________

hoop du jour
bring a bit of the playground into the workplace with a professional-grade, 18-inch by 12-inch shatterproof backboard, with a spring-action breakaway rim and a mini rubber basketball. memo from hr: don’t call for shirts-and-skins games in a coed office.
$29.99 at sklz.com

___________
top 11 office distractions___________
strobe

you won’t have to worry about exclusive velvet ropes or bottle-service fees with this disco strobe, police light and mirror ball set that turns your office space into club cubicle! all you need is two aa batteries and you’re ready to turn a sobbing lindsay lohan away at the door!
$21.99 at stupid.com

___________
top 11 office distractions___________
desktop darts

this mini magnetic dartboard includes a 4-inch by 4-inch wood display, a two-sided magnetic dartboard, two yellow darts, two red darts, and instructions. not included: violent and ill-tempered drunks … unless you work at our office.
$8.69 at amazon.com

___________
top 11 office distractions___________
office green

this executive putting partner automatically returns your golf balls — just what you need when your caddie, er, intern has gone back to school. requires an electric outlet and an understanding management team.
$17.99 on amazon.com

___________
top 11 office distractions___________
magnet balls

the classic office distraction, composed of 216 individual, high-energy, rare-earth magnet balls, allows you to create an outrageous number of shapes and patterns, keeping you well-occupied until somebody begins to wonder what you’ve been doing for the last few months.
$18.96 at amazon.com

___________
top 11 office distractions___________

office derby horse race
six horses race up and down a 10-inch by 3 1/4-inch racetrack at about 1 inch per six seconds — which is heart-stopping action … if you’re already dead. you also get a mini horse stable and a lifetime membership to gamblers anonymous. (one of the two previous statements isn’t entirely true.)
$19.95 at homewetbar.com

___________
top 11 office distractions___________
sand … just sand

you haven’t landed in the office-slacker elite category until you’ve invested a good afternoon in being mesmerized by desktop sand. this 7-inch by 5-inch moving sand in a terrarium that manifests countless shapes and shades is sure to mesmerize — without the negative career implications of other such trips.
$14.43 at amazon.com

___________
top 11 office distractions___________
flick-tac-toe
with an arena of 2 1/2 feet, players flick their plastic chips up a ramp and onto the “chip magic” area — where the chips mysteriously hold their position and you spend countlessly productive man-hours attempting to line up three in a row. (we were confused by the complicated rules too!) for the truly discerning sportsmen only!

$17.99 at stupid.com

___________

brian o’connor brian o’connor is a print and online journalist. he is a former contributing editor at men’s fitness and executive editor at genre. he has also written for slate, san francisco weekly and the new york daily news, among other publications.

You Might Also Like